FAQ
Frequently asked questions from humans who still ask questions manually.
Yes. We're a real company that sells real products with a satirical edge. Every item is handcrafted and shipped to your door. The jokes are free.
Actual humans — designers, artists, and makers who may or may not be coping with existential dread about AI. Each product is designed and produced without generative AI.
30-day returns on unworn, unused items. We can't take back the existential realization that came with the purchase, though.
Yes. We ship worldwide because existential crises are a global phenomenon. International shipping rates calculated at checkout.
Domestic orders: 3–7 business days. International: 7–21 days. We don't use teleportation because it hasn't been invented by humans yet.
As real as anything on the internet. It's a satirical metric we assign to each product based on vibes, not science. Please don't cite it in your performance review.
We'd prefer you didn't, but we can't stop you. Just know we'll feel a little sad about it.
For select partners who share our values. Contact us at hello@human-tm.com and prove you're not a bot.